Friday, September 22, 2006
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Your love is a fast song; spinning me around.
First, I woke up late.
Second, I think I made an ass of myself during an interview.
Third, I can stab my co-worker with a sharp pointy fork as she is ever so irritating.
Fourth, I got sexually harrassed by a seven year-old.
Fifth, I have been re-disillusioned on my favorite model.
Sixth, because of number five, there is no way I can turn in my first interview on time. I am way too upset, disgustingly upset over someone I had no chance with in the first place. But as rational as I try to be, my emotions refuse to be rational and let me do what I need to do.
I am going to make my dinner and drown my sorrows. HEH.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Canvas of hanging darkness.
I should get some sleep.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Build my heart's desire.
Tutoring: more like Chinese teaching. Hate it.
Dinner: Marnee Thai with Jae and Cass. Jae got stuck in traffic but it gave Cass and I a nice chance to catch up. She's been in and out of town so often because of school, even with the blogs and IMing I feel disconnected. Now she's here to stay! We gossiped about old high school friends. So bizarre how people do things you would never expect them to do, things they said they would never do. Dinner was good, though service was shitty, like 10% tip shitty. This creepy guy sat at a table across from us and stared at us the entire time. Asian fetish much? It was good having Cass there; she's the only one who bitches about/tears apart strange creeps and weirdos with me.
Dessert: ice cream and nutella crepes. Ah so good. Jae made a mess, as usual, throwing away the wrapper before she could finish without it. It reminded me of how for a really long time Mel had a habit of getting food all over her face. =P
Movie: Wedding Crashers. I love Rachel McAdams. She has the looks for a girl I want to date. Personality is a different matter because I don't know her. Lookswise, she's perfect. I want a lipstick lesbian who thinks like a sensitive man. None of the typical girly jealousy and bitchiness bullshit. It took me awhile but I think I'm finally okay with dating another girl. The last experience... um...yeah...
The movie hit on a sore point with me right now. The 13th was the one-year anniversary of me ending the engagement with N. The 23rd will be the one-year anniversary of the breakup. I'm over him---without a doubt---but it still saddens me to think how those two years went. They were almost wasted if I hadn't learned a lot.
Love is not a denial of who you really are.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Wasn't even whole to start with.
Since I got the Kelly Clarkson album from Jae (go and laugh), I've been listening to "Because of You" and "Beautiful Disaster" on repeat. Check the lyrics and you can probably figure out what's wrong. "Because of You" is the first song I've found that fits an ex perfectly and "Beautiful Disaster"... Things are unsettled. I like closure but I don't want to ask for it. So instead I'm letting myself suffer.
Asking for my trust is unfair when it is unreturned.
I did my first phone interview for MW on Tuesday. It went pretty well, I think. Writing the article is daunting but I'll tackle it...once I finish the 1000+ words piece I have planned for Ponte de Sospiri. Alright, so I'm pushing it off a bit but I haven't figured out an introductory paragraph for the model yet. Outright gushing just isn't professional. XP
Sunday, September 11, 2005
2) I want maroon Chucks.
3) J.Crew has new velveteen blazers in a rich navy blue and a dark plum. I want them both, or something similar with more structure. Thank goodness velvet is a trend for the Fall season. I've always loved the fabric.
4) Bought the new V with Mary J. Blige. The issue is double the thickness it usually is because of the ads. Vman in five days, I can't wait! Also got the September Arena. Late I know but I couldn't resist one of the edits.
5) My ex-coworker may have hit on me. He asked me out but I couldn't tell if he was kidding. He may not have been. As I left, he said, "Well think about it and get back to me." o_O The idea is extremely strange and a bit surreal. I had a minor crush on him back in the day, when he worked with my ex-fiance and I, because he was/is punk and artsy. (He got rid of a lot of his piercings.) He was somewhat close with my ex, too. How can I date someone from that era?
6) Bought a tank top from Victoria's Secret, dark red with stars. Think if I wear it, I'll magically look like Alessandra Ambrosio? HA HA. I am weak for Victoria's Secret Garden lotions. Now they have shampoos! None in my favorite scent though, thank god. I don't need another excuse for spending. (We saw a really cute Fossil cord bookbag. Me want. Me need.)
7) Michael Gandolfi in the October Men's Club. He looks good, as good as he can when the stylist puts him in ugly outfits. Just say "no" to dusty rose pants. Even the photography seemed kind of shoddy. I love the first picture with his pout though. ;)
8) Hawaii for Winter Break!
9) Picked up from Target: a red mug, the new Jack Mannequin (excellent CD, I already downloaded the entire thing. See, I'm not a pirater. I download for sampling and purchase if I like the artist =P), the new Natasha Bedingfield (I love her video for "These Words"), lightbulbs, and a pretty notebook. Stationery nerd? Yes, I am.
10) Outback Steakhouse for dinner. My sushi craving and my meat craving both fulfilled in one night! My tummy is extremely pleased.
11) A late showing of Red Eye. Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy were excellent. The movie exceeded all expectations for a Wes Craven film, heh. It had a minor theme of female empowerment that they ruined with the ending. I enjoyed the movie thoroughly though; the suspense building was brilliant.
12) My day was better than most have been. =)
Friday, September 09, 2005
Updating while uploading.
English... is a little weird. I find myself talking to the three people around me. One is actually this kid my friends and I used to coo about in high school. He is three years younger than us and I didn't recognize him because he now looks like he is older than me. He aged really fast, but not necessarily in the bad way. I'm being social in English and speaking up without prodding during discussions — but then again, so far we have been discussing women's issues. God knows I can't keep my trap shut on that topic. After class I actually hung out and talked to my professor for no real reason. I like her, a lot. I don't completely agree with her teaching methods---audacious, aren't I?---but as a person, with fascinating views and opinions, she is a mind I want to pick.
Tutoring is not quite tutoring. Surprisingly today was the first time in the week or so since I started where I wanted to roll some heads. If I ever have children, I'm not having any boys. Disobedient little twits. Tutoring is becoming a way for my mother to make me relearn my Chinese as the main thing I do now is help with her Chinese classes. So while I'm sitting there, teaching the children zhuyin, she plies me with page after page of Chinese essays to read and worksheets to do. In a way I am getting paid to learn a language---my native language, nonetheless; as white-washed as I am, I do feel bad that my English is leaps and bounds better than the language I was born speaking---so it isn't too bad. Though now with French and Chinese, I am wistful for Japanese. I miss learning it and speaking it.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Nothing I can do; staring at the ceiling.
We did learn the word for condom though. Un préservartif. If anything I have to say my French prof is so fun. She teaches us slang and the necessities, like merde (shit). Although I already know it, I still enjoy her antics.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Of layouts and mortality and weight loss.
The interesting point of my day was seeing a dead pigeon on the sidewalk. It looked like it had flown head first into a moving vehicle, smashed and feathers everywhere. I was tempted to take a picture of it, after going "Oh god" at the horror, because, well, how often do you see a bird like that? Morbid fascination, really. Mortality at its most apparent. Even the birds who take flight to the sky in an instant can be run over by a car. What chance does a human have?
My mother forced me to drink some diet smoothie thing she made. She swears that since she started drinking it, her skin is firmer, more glowing, and that she has lost weight as a result of the drink. As far as I can tell, she throws a bunch of vegetables (including bitter squash, ugh) and an apple into a juicer. The benefits to her skin make sense, vitamins and all that. As for the weight loss... I discovered the drink acts as a laxative.
And the rest you can figure out for yourself.